My Story

On April 11, 2019, I lost my beautiful daughter, Riley "RiRi", to suicide.

 

My life was shattered. I spiraled into depression and lost any sense of direction or hope. Most days, even the simplest acts—taking a shower, shaving, basic hygiene—felt impossible. I slipped deeper into dark places emotionally and mentally, and I knew I needed to do something to keep myself from falling further.

 

Eventually, I found the strength to return to Jiu-Jitsu. It began quietly—just my coach, James Foster, and a small group of close training partners during off-hours. Over time, I eased into open mats, and then finally back into regular classes. Even in the midst of overwhelming emotional pain, grappling became—and continues to be—a vital part of how I manage my depression and overall mental health. I still have good days and bad days, but Jiu-Jitsu gives me direction, structure, and purpose.

 

As I continued to work through my grief, I realized I have to actively monitor my mental health and learn to cope with the loss I would never fully understand. Like so many who have lost loved ones to suicide, I knew the questions I have would never have answers. I began researching suicide and mental health, and I eventually felt called to do more. I wanted to raise awareness, provide education, and create a space for others affected by suicide loss.

 

That vision became Grapple; 4 Life. With support—and some needed encouragement—from my wife, Stephani, we brought the idea to life.

 

On May 28, 2022, we held our first Grapple; 4 Life seminar. It exceeded every expectation. Grapplers from different academies and states came together, joined by families and even a West Virginia politician. The event built a relationship with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) and connected them with a new board member, walk chair, and volunteers. It was the first event of its kind that AFSP had ever seen, and the grappling community showed up with incredible heart.

 

Grapple; 4 Life was born from tragedy, but it continues because of purpose—bringing people together, supporting those impacted by suicide, and using the power of Jiu-Jitsu to help heal, empower, and save lives.